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 Welcome to Humor page 2.



A police officer was injured

A friend was reading the front page of the newspaper when she asked, "What part of the body is the melee?" a melee isn't a part of the body," I said.
"I didn't think so, but it's right here in the paper."
"How's it used?"
"It says, 'a police officer was injured in the melee.' "
(melee - a noisy riotous fight).
                                                               Jason Cornwell

Desperate for a child

Desperate for a child, a couple asked their priest to pray for them, "I'm going to Rome." he told them. "I'll light a candle in St Peters's Cathedral for you."
When the priest returned three years later, he found the wife pregnant and looking after two sets of twins. Elated, he asked to speak to her husband and congratulate him.
"He's gone to Rome." said wife, "to blow out that candle."
                                                                                  Kathlyn Yoder

Pig
While speeding down a long, winding mountain road, a man swerves to avoid a woman who comes flying round the corner.
As she passes him, she leans out of the window and screams  "Pig!"
Astonished, the man turns and shouts back, "Idiot!" Then he rounds the bend and crashes into a pig.
            Anon

 
Twins

On a prenatal visit to the doctor, I was dumbfounded to be told I was carrying twins."Would you like to know the sex of the babies?" the doctor asked. I said "no, I want to be surprised, just tell me if they're the same."
"No," doctor replied.
                                           Rachel Friedman


Virtuous woman

A women sitting alone in a bar is joined by a men who invites her back to his place. "I can't do that," she tells him. "I'm keeping myself pure and untouched until I meet the man I truly love." "That's very admirable," the man says. "Your husband will respect you all the more for being so virtuous." "My husband?" Says the woman, obviously confused.  "Oh no, he's not at all happy about it."
             David Nicholson, Yanchep,WS


 Helped a woman deliver her baby

You can't blame the  woman for being upset. After all, she was delivering her baby in a goods lift at our hospital. "This is nothing" said my fellow nurse, trying to console the new mother, "Last year a friend of mine helped a woman deliver her baby on the front lawn of the hospital."  The patient began to wail. "That was me!"
                                               Stephanie Niederberger

News Reader

For a story about safe driving, a news reader had this revelations: "Most cars have only one occupant, usually the driver."
                                         Alex Chern

Deafening car alarm

 The deafening car alarm outside the supermarket got everyone's attention. So by the time I entered the store, this announcement was coming over the PA system: "Would the owner of a silver Ford SUV pleaser return to the parking lot? Your car is crying."
                                                                               Bob Newton

More coming...


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Last published date 2/11/09


 
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